politics and self image

(wow, that sounds impressive doesn't it? Don't get too excited, it's not a poly sci or psychology thesis) (by the way, the French pronounce that "p" in words like psychology or pseudonym)

Ate lunch with Maude today. She just had someone visit her classroom to tell her that for a commoner she was more or less up to snuff but not for the level she was at. Then went on to say that she needed to change a hundred billion things that she went on to list. Never mind that she did anything right.

This reminds me a lot of clinical practicum.

Also familiar is Maude's relationship with her class. They tend to walk all over her. And the tighter the grip she tries to get on her class by being alternately stern and likeable, the more they slip through her fingers.

Man, I've been there...

Because she might be interviewing for a position teaching French and St. John's college at Cambridge and she feels she really needs to work on speaking directly to the point and not meandering around everywhere when she speaks (ah, circumlocution...I use it every day), I'm relaxing my pas d'anglais policy

But it seems over-praising Anastasia was a mistake.

Anastasia just had a class visit too...she apparently got a really good report. It doesn't surprise me. I've seen her in class. She's brilliant. Not to mention she speaks English so well that knowing there was an English English professor there the first day and hearing her speak, I thought it was her at first.

I remarked that I said something to Anastasia about the audtious color combinations she was wearing (kind of brown and hunter green with a teal blue jacket...sounds strange but it worked) and that I hoped I didn't say anything that seemed negative or made her look bad in front of the guy who had just reviewed her, then went onto talk about the amazing French sense of style (ie how they manage to tie their scarves.) and how Anasatisia seemed to have an overdose of it... and then how outgoing and confident she seemed.

Maude said something about how Anastasia always seemed rather reserved to her. I remarked that maybe it was the really bright colors she always wears and Maude remarked about how she liked to wear bright colors too...

As my life and Maude's seem to have many parallels (I've lent her all my English children's books, which she's been eating up, and she promises she'll take me French children's book shopping soon) I should have seen it coming. I felt that way about lots of people through school. You struggle with something and someone else is always shining around you...one day you find yourself down and someone pointing out something that seems to accentuate a difference you feel keenly...Or maybe I'm reading way too much of my experience into this. Anyway, if Anastasia had been in my speech language pathology program, I am ashamed to say I probably wouldn't have liked her nearly as much as I do now that we are equals but not doing exactly the same job.

I'm constantly tempted to say "I know exactly how you feel" to Maude...but I know that's not true and that's not what people like to hear...but sometimes it's eerie. And I know how much it sucks to be doing all you can to be the best at what you do, and it doesn't work, so you get upset about it, which makes it worse etc. (only honestly Maude is doing a much better job at keeping her cool when she needs to than I would...)

Anyway they're both great...I don't know if they get along pefectly well...I thought it a little odd that Anastasia invited me to her birthday party and not Maude but figured maybe she was just being nice to the foreign girl (who did manage to fall asleep during the after dinner conversation)

AAARRGGH! is this sounding way too much like middle school or what?

Bottom line: if I could take Maude and Anastasia and oh heck why not while I'm dreaming, Pierre home to be friends with me, I would. It's not like we're bosom companions or intimate acquaintances or anything...they just rock.

(BTW, I got both Anastasia and Maude Holes by Louis Sachar for Christmas (Yeah, the guy who wrote Sideways Stories from Wayside School. Think of the Hobbit and the Lord of the Rings and you've got an idea of early Sachar vs. late, though not nearly as dark.) It's absolutely fantastic and I recommend it to anyone who likes a good story and good writing. Forget that it's a kids book, that's completely irrelevant. They both loved it and were discussing it together during class so I guess things have to be at least pretty good between them...)