Oh happy day...

Who knew a dial tone could be so beautiful?

My phone is up and running.

No more cabines de téléphone with dog poop encrusted in the grooves of the floor. No more wondering whether the last person to use the telephone before me had the bird flu (for a planet full of public telephone sanitizers, we have very dirty telephones. If you don't get it, don't worry about it). You can call me direct. Everyone's getting phone cards for Christmas!

If you didn't get my number in your email, send me one and I'll put you on the list.


Things they never taught us in French class:

The proper way to eat a grapefruit

How to get rid of random French guys on the street who feel like striking up a relationship with you right then and there

How to bathe oneself with a showerhead attached to a hose with nowhere to fix it (without flooding the bathroom)

How to drink your morning coffee out of a bowl (with or without cereal floating in it)

How to detect unwanted ham in your boulangerie pizza

How to cut a baguette without getting crumbs everywhere (actually, judging from the tables after a meal, it can't be done)